Refuge For Healing
companionship and somatic work for your grief journey
Grief is a really difficult experience. Our culture tends to try to make it small, to bypass it, or fix it with platitudes and encouragement to just move on. Honestly? This makes our pain worse, because we feel unseen. We feel like maybe we're over-reacting. Maybe something is wrong with us if we can't just move on. Maybe we're being dramatic if the platitudes don't make us feel better.
Let me say this. There is nothing wrong with you if you are in pain because you lost someone (or something) that mattered to you. Grief is supposed to hurt. That sucks. We'd rather it didn't. We'd love to escape it, but nobody will get through this life without experiencing loss and grief. And resisting the pain makes it worse. It's okay to allow yourself to hurt, even if the messages all around you seem to be saying the opposite.
Grief is not a problem to be solved. Grief is not something we can fix. We live in a fix-it society and really like to make things better. We love to have solutions and cures and we have little tolerance for pains that linger.
Grief is not aberrant. It is not a disorder. It is a natural, normal, expected part of being a human. It is part of life.
There is nothing wrong with you for grieving.
But we don't like pain. I don't like pain. We naturally want relief when we experience pain and so you may feel discouraged that I said it's normal, expected, and that it can't be fixed. I'm sorry for that. While grief can't be cured, it can be carried. We can't make it go away, but we can find support and tools to help us bear it, until it lightens. It will lighten. And You don't have to carry it alone.
We are used to being independent, but we are social beings. We thrive in community. Grief is a relational wound when it involves the loss of a person, but even if it's the loss of a pet, a dream, a job, or from unmet expectations, it's still relational. Relational wounds heal in relationship. You don't have to grieve alone. Many cultures throughout time have understood the importance of communal support for people who are in grief. They make the burden more bearable. We're not so good at that in our society.
Grief wants to be witnessed. That's why the platitudes can be so painful. It feels dismissive of your pain. A grieving person surrounded by people who are not grieving feels very alone. A grieving person surrounded by others who are also experiencing grief feels seen, supported, and normalized. This shared witnessing is very powerful. It is also good to be witnessed by someone who is not in deep grief. Experiencing pain can be frightening. There is a lot of fear that we will be overwhelmed by it or get lost in the emotions. A skilled facilitator can be invaluable for guiding you through without you getting lost in it.
You're overwhelmed. You've been dropped into a foreign land without a map. And you feel so alone.
I'm here to walk with you, to provide a map, and to help you process your grief.
You can go to my Bookings Page and book an appointment, or you can can book a free, no-pressure, consultation to see if you want to work with me. That's also on the Bookings Page.
You can check out pricing first and see a little more about what I do, or read about my philosophy you'd like.
Feel free to contact me or sign up for my monthly newsnote here.
Maybe you've experienced the death of a loved one -- whether family, friend, or pet. Maybe you've lost a job, or had a broken relationship. Perhaps you're grieving the fact that life has not turned out the way you expected and hoped it would. You might be grieving a life you used to have or family ties that have severed. Maybe you've received a diagnosis that has left you reeling. Or maybe you have a loved one who has. Maybe you fought a disease and won but haven't ever processed the grief that came with that experience. Grief can hold on a long time.
Especially when we grieve alone.
I'm here to be your companion and
guide through your journey. I have a degree in
nursing, I am a trained somatic practitioner, and
a grief coach who can help you process the grief
through your body (more about this on the
About Kay page under My Philosophy and on
the Definitions page.) I will listen and
hold a safe, trauma-informed, space for your
emotions. I am not afraid of your pain. And I can
help you not be afraid of your pain.
Grief Sucks
"I personally walked away with peace I had not felt in years. My heart and mind calm and there shone a bit of self love I hadn’t seen since childhood."
Athena W. Colorado
What to Expect
You will find a safe space where everything will be held in confidence within the confines of the law.
I create containers for grief and trauma energy to move. I provide somatic support and nervous system regulation guidance. I’ll help bring people back if they go too far into the emotion. I offer ritual support for processing loss, grief, and trauma. I will be a guide and support, but you will maintain your sovereignty and autonomy. I support participants in accessing their own healing wisdom. I help you learn how to hear your own inner guidance.
In one-on-one sessions you will be able to talk about your grief as openly as you feel comfortable. I will never push you to do more than you are comfortable with. I will listen and hold space for all the emotions that come with grief. I will help you understand what is happening in your nervous system, emotions, and body as you grieve. Then you will learn how to allow that grief to process through your body.
That may sound kind of weird or intimidating but what that means is I will guide you in learning how to recognize how the emotion actually feels in your body: tightness, tingling, pressure, etc. And then share techniques with you that help you move that feeling out of the body. Things like breathing exercises, body movements, rituals, grounding, meditation, etc. The experience will be personalized with your input so that we find what works best for you. This may be done in person or online.
We may incorporate some creative practices if that appeals to you.
We can explore different grief rituals to see if there are some that bring you comfort.
We may include spiritual direction if you'd like that.
There are many tools that can be used in the processing of grief.
In Grief Communities I will facilitate the creating of a safe container for you to share your stories and process your grief in the presence of others. There is something very healing about being supported by a group of people healing together. You will learn how to feel your emotions in the body in a way that is gradual and not overwhelming. You will learn tools for processing the emotions in ways that go beyond what talking about them can do on its own. These will primarily be held in person but there will be online offerings as well.
I will also be offering online and in-person workshops. Sign up for my monthly Newsnote if you'd like to be informed about those.
Disclaimer: You may have heard of Somatic Therapy. That is when somatic practices are used in a psychotherapy setting. I am not a therapist or counselor. I will not be offering psychotherapy.
Pricing
There are never any hidden charges, and no contracts or obligations for Individual Appointments. You can meet with me as many times as feels beneficial.
Package pricing does anticipate that you will attend the number of sessions included in the package. There will be no refund for sessions dropped, but there is flexibility in scheduling should an emergency arise.
30 minute consultation - free
One-on-one Appointment via Zoom - 60 minute session - $110, $100, or $90 Whichever aligns with your current financial circumstances.
Package of 6 sessions - $594, $540, or $486. Whichever aligns with your current financial circumstances.
Puttering Sessions - one-on-one session with me over the phone while I clean, make art, or go for a walk. $40 for 60 minutes of somewhat divided attention. This is good when you need someone to talk to but aren't seeking a lot of depth work at the moment.
Groups - $20 per person per meeting. This would be a group that has recurring meetings over the course of a set number of weeks.
Speaking to a group one time would be considered a workshop.
Live, online workshops are $30 per workshop or buy four for $100.
If you have a group you would like for me to present to, please use the contact information below, or schedule a free 30 minute consultation through my Book Online page.
I can do a presentation about the effects of grief on the body. This would be great for any group that is experiencing grief or those who work with people who are grieving.
I can also present on somatic techniques for nervous system regulation. This is ideal for groups such as teachers, healthcare workers, and others who would like to manage their day-to-day stress.
People who are local to Colorado Springs (and nearby) can host an in-person workshop.
Go to the Book Online Page to schedule for a one-on-one appointment or to register for workshops.